Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
