Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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