i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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