I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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