He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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