apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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