i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize