Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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