I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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