Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
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I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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