If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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