You're so nebulous sometimes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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