Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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