I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize