I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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