Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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