onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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