i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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