and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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