I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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