His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize