I skipped work to stalk him.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
What a dumb baby whore.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize