i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize