first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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