you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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