I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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