i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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