I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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