I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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