Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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