i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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