Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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