You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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