I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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