I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize