We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
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There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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