even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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