Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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