The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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