It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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