Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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