My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize