No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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