My first STD was from a foam party
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize