There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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