We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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