I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize