Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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