all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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