he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize